In professional or personal life, sooner or later you are going to run into conflict. We all don’t think alike. If we did, none thinks too much. If you and I think exactly alike, one of us is unnecessary.
Conflicts are inevitable; anger, grudges, hurt and blames are optional. Not all conflicts can be resolved. I learned that resolving conflicts early is always better. At initial level, just small adjustment may be needed to resolve conflict. If you delay, it may need a MAJOR SURGERY to resolve conflict.
Let’s look at three things about managing conflicts:
1. Identify the type of conflict:
It helps to understand and prioritize what type of conflict it is.
2. Understand the Cause of Conflict:
Facts & Interpretations and easier to resolve, Beliefs & Values are harder to resolve.
3. Choose An Approach That Fits:
Not all conflicts can be resolved. Choose the approach that fits.Remember three things:
- Confront early
- Confront often
- Confront respectfully
Let's look at some additional techniques while confronting resolution. Instead of You/blame shame statement, use "I" statements. For example, at work, Instead of saying to one employee: You do not talk to me, say: I really want to talk to you and see how can we work more collaboratively. Anotehr example, at Home: Husband to wife: you spend too much money. Better approach by Husband: I am really concerned about our finances. One more example: When husband comes late, wife says: You don’t spend time with me. Instead choose to say: I want to see you home early and see how can I contribute more into your life.
We covered three points about managing conflicts: Choose Type, Understand Cause, and Choose and Approach Resolving conflicts early is advisable. Conflict leads to unity, leads to change, it's good when it's addressed. Unfortunately, some people do not know how to address. Learn to confront. Learn the loving, caring act of confronting early, too often and more importantly, confront respectfully.
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